My journey to balance family, work, and water polo.
We Failed Her
The alarm sounds, a painful reminder that it’s my week to cover the ICU. I take off my favorite sweatshirt, stripping away its warmth and comfort. I quickly jump into and out of the scalding shower, racing to get ready. Making my way toward the kitchen, I roll my eyes...
A Little Help From My Friends
The patient in front of me is trying to die. Elderly and frail, he is lying in the bed. His ribs outlined under skin that should be smooth. His temples are concave where they should be flat. Both are an outward display of internal damage from his lung cancer. More...
Injuries of the Heart
He sat next to the judge in the witness chair. Of medium height and build with a clean shaven head, he recalled the night in the hospital where he lost his dad, role model, grandfather to his newborn son and best friend. In the small courtroom he spoke directly to the...
His Voice
I pause in front of the door. On the other side, you all wait. A spouse, sons and daughters, sometimes with their own small children in tow. Today it’s your husband and father you have come for. Yesterday it was someone else's mother. You have come from near and far,...
Sixteen Redux
There you are, in the big chair, half curled and snuggled up against me. A tangled clump of hair covers part of your face. You’re somewhere between wake and sleep listening to Goodnight Moon and my made up stories of butterflies and rainbow fish. You are warmth to my...
Sunrise
What do you do when you know someone is going to die? I'm not talking about death when it comes at the end of a long protracted illness or a terminal diagnosis. Or the final act at the end of a "good" life, when the body and mind have ultimately given way. I'm talking...
Change Redux
It started almost as a little hum... a vibration in my head, felt more than heard. A connection between some deep part of my brain straight to inside my chest. In the days leading up to my college graduation I mostly ignored it. Easy enough in the midst of goodbye...
Walk with me…
Walk with me, why don't you? It's about time, don't you think? We have been avoiding this for quite a while. But it is best to bring this out from the shadows and into the light. Let's take a walk... Thru a part of my day. But be careful. You won't like what you see....
Clarity of the Unknown
Maybe it's the Jeep with its top down, whipping thru the wind on the highway. Maybe it's the music playing...a combination of new and old. Of fast and imploring. Of slow and restrained. Maybe it's the caffeine from my first cup of coffee in a week starting to work its...
Ch Ch Ch Changes..
“Ch-ch-changesDon’t want to be a richer manCh-ch-ch-ch-changesTurn and face the strangeCh-ch-changesJust gonna have to be a different manTime may change meBut I can’t trace time” -David Bowie Months have passed since I last wrote. Thoughts, musings, topics have...
Bittersweet
There you are amongst the crowd. One of thirty freshman. And my breath is taken from me. For a moment, the briefest moment, everything else on my mind fades away. The whirlwind of stress that has been the background beat for the last several months is now muted, and...
Family
It's been a rough day. No...more accurate a rough afternoon. Being home on "vacation" is usually not a good thing. My presence in the house is disruptive, changing the normal routines and patterns that have been established by my family. I throw things off, challenge...