My chest is heaving. The air I rapidly suck into my lungs does not seem to be adequate as I immediately gasp for another breath. My heart is pounding, trying to escape the confines of the sternum that lies over it. The waves of nausea are somewhat overshadowed by a brewing headache. To put it bluntly, I feel like crap. My eyes gaze towards the clock on the wall and to my dismay it’s only 5:40 AM. Twenty more minutes of hell stand between me and relief. And I can’t help question for a moment why am I here again?
Why a blog and why now? Its not as if I don’t have enough on my plate. I could (and should) probably be much more productive with my “spare” time by doing such things as paying bills. We no longer have a land line in part due to how much we owe ATT and my kids know that when the cable goes out its not weather related! But there have been times over the years when on a rare occasion, I have some insight despite the chaos that is often my world. When a rare epiphany occurs it does tend to be at some ridiculously early hours in the morning while swimming laps or on a long run. But too often those thoughts are fleeting. There for a moment and then lost into the flotsam and jetsam of my under-caffeinated brain. I hope by writing them down I can gain insight and work on finding the “perfect” BALANCE between often “competing” parts of my life.
2014 is looking to be a BIG year. It will mark 20 years of marriage to Becky! I will turn 44 while my children turn 16 and 13. It will be my 9th year as a practicing physician. And it will be my 5th go-around at doing an “Ironman” distance triathlon. And although each time I travel to Madison WI to complete this race I have gotten a little better and a little faster (minus that one year with a bike crash), I’m not sure I have made similar gains in how to train and prepare while maintaing BALANCE in my life. The pattern of more family and less training in the winter, followed by an early spring season injury and ultimately to frantic training at the expense of my family as the summer moves along is probably not an optimal strategy.
Still….the question remains. Why a blog and why now? I used to write. I used to write a lot. And hopefully by writing about this process, training for triathlons while juggling the hats of husband, parent, son, brother, friend, Doctor it will help me to find BALANCE.
So that is what this blog will be about. Me. My family. My friends. Training for Tri’s. Being a Doctor. These are the hats I wear. These are the roles I am trying to BALANCE. There are 52 weeks left till IM Wisconsin. 52 weeks to learn. 52 weeks of opportunity. Opportunity to not only ride 112 miles faster over the hills around Madison, but to be a better Dad. The chance to run a faster marathon but also celebrate 20 years of marriage to my soul mate. Swim 2.4 miles faster, but also challenge myself as a doctor and role model to the training physicians around me.
I hope to find, if not the “perfect” BALANCE between them, then at least “the best” BALANCE I am capable of. (and not fall off my bicycle in the process!)